Q: What's a "Singing telegram, anyway?"
A: By simple definition, a message delivered in song. The first one was sent to Rudy Vallee in the '20s. I don't know who the messenger was. In the eastern cities, sometimes singing telegrams are insults. You may have seen bits on TV or in movies of a gorilla on someone's doorstep singing an insulting parody to someone or throwing a pie in someone's face. But here in the Midwest, they are delivered in a multiple of costumes, good singing, good scripts and a real effort to provide high-class entertainment!

Q: What are the average costs?
A: It may be hard to arrive at an average. They range from $75.00 to $125.00 and vary in price from male to female performers, week-day to week-end and standard to specialty. Our prices are medial - not cheap and not out of line, either.

Q: What does one cost?
A: Our prices for standard grams are, $90.00, delivered free within 10 miles of Downtown, a $10.00 parking fee for DT, travel fees beyond the 10-mile limit, a fee before 0700 and after 2300 hours, prime-time driving (stop & go @ 5/10 mph) between 0700/0900 and 1600/1800 hours. Female specialties like Yvonne, the belly dancer, Fifi, the upstairs maid, Elvis, modest strippers and other similar grams start at $150.00 and up.

Q: What do you provide with a standard gram?
A: Any one of the 45/50 standard costumes, at least one song (usually happy birthday) one toast, a hat and horn and the telegram with your wishes on it. If it's a retirement, transfer or promotion, you can pick other songs. If you pick a song that's not in our repertoire, give us the time to get it from the library and if it's brand new or unknown to our performers, there is a small fee to learn it. If there is more than one recipient, we have a fee for the extra hats & horns but a modest one.

Q: Do you have other entertainment besides the standard grams?
A: Certainly. We have impersonators for some of the well-known actors and singers and may need a little time to provide for those lesser known. Also, we have clowns, magicians, artists, palm readers, caricature artists, handwriting analysts, fortune tellers and many, many more. Just call and ask.

Q: How does one get into the field as a performer?
A: Check in with the agencies and find out who is hiring. There is a constant turn-over and they are always looking for good performers.

Q: How did you get started?
A: I've been a barbershop quartette singer for over 50 years and a practicing Toastmaster for about the same length of time and I applied for work at a franchised agency not knowing what it was all about. Because I was considerably older than the usual college theater majors, I got the birthdays for the 50/60 group but as they had turnovers and some big week-ends, I soon got a chance at every character in the field. It wasn't long before I was handling 15 grams a week! I began putting my own costumes together as some of theirs were out-dated, worn and cheap and since the agency didn't seem to care if we performed in an out-standing manner or simply minimum, I began working for myself. That was over 10 years ago and since then, I've found other performers in other states who have left the same agency to found their own agencies. It doesn't take long to sense you're not wanted, regardless of the amount of cash you turn in to the boss or how many kudos you get from your customers!

Q: How do we pay for the grams? Can we charge?
A: We can take your order on any of the major credit cards and put the entire amount of the bill, including the tip, and process it the same day.

Q: What if you don't show up?
A: We've never failed to show up for a performance but we have been given work by people who ordered a gram from another company and had a no-show! When you place an order with us, you get a professional act from costumes to singing to scripting.

Q: How large an area do you cover?
A: Most of our work is in the 9-county metro area but we have traveled to Fargo, Duluth, Eau Claire, LaCrosse, Madison, Rochester, Mason City and Sioux Falls. There is travel fees for those distances, of course.

Q: How much notice do you need?
A: We get 75% of our work from Friday to Sunday nights so to get a guarantee for a particular act, it's in your best interest to book a few days in advance but on many occasions during the week, we can take an order for the next day and maybe for that same day - with a small fee for the performer to compensate for dropping everything to put on a gorilla suit!

Q: Do you provide service at schools as well as businesses?
A: Of course. It is a good idea, though, to advise the school office of the gram and the type of character and get the permission from the employee's supervisor or company owner at all times. No one likes to find out a principal or CEO is miffed at not being informed.

Q: Are all your acts above-board?
A: Guaranteed! Even the modes strips are tastefully handled.
For any questions not dealt with, please call our office and ask. We're open 24/7 for your convenience.